Common Ground: Discovering God’s Redemption in Your Marriage

Too often, a couple hoping to strengthen or refresh their marriage is given this advice – work at it more diligently or show more faith. While this may help for a little bit, it doesn’t typically result in deep and lasting change. Over his 20-year career in marital counseling, Dr. Gordon Bals has met hundreds of couples who were tired or confused by the notion of simply working harder to improve the relationship. Instead, Gordon helps couples recognize and resist the subtle work of evil in their marriage, and shows them how to move toward the Lord in a way that brings real togetherness.

In this book, you’ll find refreshing news about how the two of you can build Common Ground. That wisdom is found in Scripture, and Dr. Bals uses it to help you to find a path that leads to togetherness — with each other, and with God.

Why do we keep having the same fights?

We’ve been married twenty-three years and we keep having the same fights. I questioned a few things in the beginning, but just hoped they would get better in time. I now fear there will be nothing left between us once the kids leave. It is said love is blind. We often get married with the best […]

Sexual Styles of Relating for Men

Most guys desire to experience a passionate and free sexual life but are often unaware of how their own fear, shame, and frustration blocks their fulfillment. Discovering our style of relating sexually helps us to bring our true authentic self to this part of our life. Instead of fears and insecurities leading us to hold back […]

Will I Ever Get Over the Shame of My Sexual Past?

I know I am forgiven, but can I ever get over the shame of my sexual past? I do not believe any of us makes it through life without some experience of sexual shame. We often hide this part of ourselves believing our sexual desires are somehow wrong or just not normal. We hide because […]

Who Cares for the Sexual Lives of Men?

My dad was a private man when it came to sexual issues. I did find some of his Playboys growing up. And me and my friends used to joke about what we saw and what we wanted to do with the women. I guess, with my dad, I learned to keep most of my sexual […]

Do Men Do Intimacy Differently?

“Men move toward whatever makes them feel competent,” and sitting down to talk about feelings generally doesn’t fit the bill. However, this does not mean that men do not do intimacy or are simply not good at it. It means we must expand our understanding of intimacy and how we go about achieving it. For […]

Can We Acknowledge Each Other as Sexual Beings?

Musings on Our Neutered Imago Dei

It is rather easy to acknowledge our social sexuality, our gender as males and females. What is much harder to affirm is that our friends, our neighbors, and our coworkers actually also have genitals and erotic desires. For many, this thought provokes much discomfort. In many respects, we seem to prefer our acquaintances neutered or […]

Are You a Digger or a Disher?

“I assumed if she wanted to know more about me she would ask. She didn’t, so I assumed she didn’t care to know any more.” –The Digger  “I assumed if he had something to share he would. He didn’t, so I assumed he was either disconnected from his emotions or didn’t have anything else to […]

Freeing Eros for Agape

For many Christians, eros stands in stark opposition to agape forms of love. Eros is viewed from many pulpits as a natural, selfish drive that must be carefully managed and is only rightly satisfied (or better tolerated) in marriage, while agape is seen as the spiritual, higher, sacrificial giving love that all Christians are to […]

The Difficult Road to a Championship Marriage

Why is marriage so hard? If we love each other shouldn’t things just click? Did we make a mistake in choosing to marry each other? The experience of marriage can be hard and this is in part by design. While marriage is not meant to make us feel miserable and hopeless, it is part of […]