The Thrill of Hope is for Sex Too

O Holy Night is one of my favorite songs at Christmas. This year it reminded me our hope in Christ also includes the renewal of our sexuality. As men, we desperately need hope here. O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,  It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth. Long lay the world […]

Who Teaches You Sexually?

I hate the sexual fantasies that run through my head…and I hate myself for having them! It makes me sick to think about ever acting on them, but I can’t seem to get rid of them and I don’t understand why they keep coming back. Understanding and navigating our sexuality is often a challenging and […]

Why do we keep having the same fights?

We’ve been married twenty-three years and we keep having the same fights. I questioned a few things in the beginning, but just hoped they would get better in time. I now fear there will be nothing left between us once the kids leave. It is said love is blind. We often get married with the best […]

Sexual Styles of Relating for Men

Most guys desire to experience a passionate and free sexual life but are often unaware of how their own fear, shame, and frustration blocks their fulfillment. Discovering our style of relating sexually helps us to bring our true authentic self to this part of our life. Instead of fears and insecurities leading us to hold back […]

Will I Ever Get Over the Shame of My Sexual Past?

I know I am forgiven, but can I ever get over the shame of my sexual past? I do not believe any of us makes it through life without some experience of sexual shame. We often hide this part of ourselves believing our sexual desires are somehow wrong or just not normal. We hide because […]

Who Cares for the Sexual Lives of Men?

My dad was a private man when it came to sexual issues. I did find some of his Playboys growing up. And me and my friends used to joke about what we saw and what we wanted to do with the women. I guess, with my dad, I learned to keep most of my sexual […]

Are You a Digger or a Disher?

“I assumed if she wanted to know more about me she would ask. She didn’t, so I assumed she didn’t care to know any more.” –The Digger  “I assumed if he had something to share he would. He didn’t, so I assumed he was either disconnected from his emotions or didn’t have anything else to […]

Freeing Eros for Agape

For many Christians, eros stands in stark opposition to agape forms of love. Eros is viewed from many pulpits as a natural, selfish drive that must be carefully managed and is only rightly satisfied (or better tolerated) in marriage, while agape is seen as the spiritual, higher, sacrificial giving love that all Christians are to […]

Embracing the Bittersweet Transitions of Life

How exciting it must be to get married, to see your kids leave for college, or to finally reach the time of retirement! All true, and yet these times can also bring sadness. The transitions of life are often bittersweet. While there can be great anticipation as we move into the next stages of life, […]

It’s Not My Job to Grow Up My Spouse

The following insights are some of the hardest but most valuable interpersonal lessons I’ve learned over time… It’s not my job to “grow up” my husband. That’s God’s job. Realizing that my role in life and in my relationships, first and foremost, is to allow God to grow ME up has freed me from over-focusing on others. […]