Who Teaches You Sexually?

I hate the sexual fantasies that run through my head…and I hate myself for having them! It makes me sick to think about ever acting on them, but I can’t seem to get rid of them and I don’t understand why they keep coming back. Understanding and navigating our sexuality is often a challenging and […]

Can We Acknowledge Each Other as Sexual Beings?

Musings on Our Neutered Imago Dei

It is rather easy to acknowledge our social sexuality, our gender as males and females. What is much harder to affirm is that our friends, our neighbors, and our coworkers actually also have genitals and erotic desires. For many, this thought provokes much discomfort. In many respects, we seem to prefer our acquaintances neutered or […]

Musings on Sexual Attraction, Behaviors, and Desires

Maybe due to our general discomfort and anxiety in discussing sexual matters openly, we often miss the complexity of our sexual experiences and tend to simplistically collapse them onto each other. For example, it seems, for many that any experience of sexual feelings calls for at least an attempt to express it with concrete behaviors. Because […]

The Power of Sexual Wonder

After listening to a recent podcast exploring the power of wonder and why we need it in our lives, I was left curious. If there are benefits of wonder in general, was this also true for sexual wonder? What if our fascination with nudity and sexual images is less a perversion to be eliminated and […]

The Nature of Sexual Fantasies

“More Than a Cigar”

I have never told my wife or anyone about my sexual fantasies. They are too dark and perverted. I don’t understand them and wish I didn’t have these recurring thoughts. It can be embarrassing to share our private sexual thoughts with another. What will he think? What if I really am messed up? Will she […]

Freedom of Sexual Fantasies

I’m concerned about my husband’s use of fantasies during our sexual encounters. He says he can no longer finish [climax] without relying on them. Are all sexual fantasies bad? God has created us with a powerful mind. We are able to think, imagine, and enrich the joy in our lives with many new and creative […]

Sexual Coaching

Want to start an argument? Ask a football fan who is the greatest quarterback of all time. Many considerations go into defining a great player and fans will often passionately disagree on who holds this honor. However, these players all do share something in common. They had a team and they had a coach. A […]

Pornography and the Mutually Consenting Couple

Editor’s Notes: Originally posted on Enhancing the Dance. See followup comments here. I’m (Dr. Jessica McCleese) excited to take this opportunity to introduce you to a colleague of mine. We met while I was pursuing training as a sexual educator. Corey has worked directly with Dr. Doug Rosenau, author of A Celebration of Sex, and multiple training programs […]

Porn and the Hairy Wild Man

Does porn (or prostitution, affairs, and other forms of illicit sex) serve as a poor attempt to access the wild, hairy side of our sexual selves, a quest for heighten levels of eroticism that are deemed inappropriate for the niceness and tameness of marital sexuality and societal expectations? It is the mask of pseudo-intimacy and quasi-eroticism that removes the possibility of being seen. In combating porn, is it possible then that […]

Musings on God and the Vagina

In the middle of the night, an image came to me of God and a vagina. It was as if the vagina was a picture of God’s invitation to me. The vagina (when aroused) is a warm, moist and luscious garden. It is drenched and has a seductive, captivating appeal and drawing power. By its […]