An Outward Focus (Marriage Purpose)

“Now that the kids have left the house it seems we don’t have much in common anymore. We go to work, worship, and occasionally spend time with friends, but our marriage no longer seems to have much meaning or purpose. We live separate lives and just happen to sleep in the same bed.” For many, […]

Marriage Mission, Vision, Purpose

Sexual Faithfulness is More Than Not Having an Affair

I don’t understand why my husband is not satisfied with our sex life. I was a virgin when we married and I’ve remained sexually faithful to him throughout. I’ve never cheated on him and rarely say no to his advances. What more does he want from me? Sexual faithfulness is about remaining true and loyal […]

What does the Bible say about Lust?

Biblical Gender Roles
April 18, 2014

For many Christian men, the sin of lust has been defined as merely finding a woman attractive, and certainly if he becomes sexually aroused by her beauty. To avoid this sin, men have told me, for example, about their attempts to keep their eyes on the floor when they walk through a store. This was their heroic effort to prevent the possibility of even seeing an attractive woman, and thus lusting after her.

While part of me applauds their efforts to avoid sin at all cost, another deeper part of me wonders if this represents the abundant and free life Christ came to offer us (and modeled for us).

As mentioned in Affected by Beauty, I believe we can celebrate the beauty of the human form and allow it to affect us without sinning.

The article linked above seeks to understand lust Biblically and not simply how the modern Christian community has interpreted it. It is a thoughtful reflection that is worth considering.

In short, the case is made that Lust = Covetousness

Covetousness is defined as “the strong desire to possess something that belongs to another.”

The article concludes that,

The sin [of lust] only comes when your sexual attraction…turns into a covetous desire to possess her sexually outside of marriage.

As such, it is not sin to simply be attracted to the beauty in another or even to be aroused by that beauty.

While we are called to fight against sin, it is not beneficial to fight against how God has designed us. God has designed us to be attracted to and affected by beauty. This is not an excuse to be rude, gawk, or otherwise make women feel uncomfortable. However, there is also no need for shame when you get feelings of pleasure from being in the presence of beauty.

 

Sexual Coaching

Want to start an argument? Ask a football fan who is the greatest quarterback of all time. Many considerations go into defining a great player and fans will often passionately disagree on who holds this honor. However, these players all do share something in common. They had a team and they had a coach. A […]

Affected by Beauty

It seems many of us have an uncertain relationship with beauty, especially when it comes to the human form. We stand in awe at the breathtaking wonder of our created form, and yet there is often fear of objectifying and using others for our own selfish entertainment. How do we praise God for allowing such […]

Too Stressed for Sex?

It is no surprise that life can be very stressful. Not only are we faced with many demands from work and our personal relationships, we are also bombarded daily with many local, national, and global concerns. There seems to be no shortage of issues demanding our attention and response. When this internal tension is persistent, […]

It’s Planting Time

Here in Atlanta, the cool fall mornings have arrived and the leaves are bursting with their autumn colors. It’s fall harvest time! What we might miss by simply going to the grocery store and picking out the best pumpkin is that they didn’t arrive on our schedule. Seeds had to be planted and watered, and […]

Q & A with Dr. Corey: Spontaneous Erections

“I am a 28-year-old guy and I’ve been having a problem with unpredictable erections four to five times a day. I can’t seem to control them and they appear consistently. Whenever I am talking to an attractive woman and not even thinking any sexual thoughts, I get one. Also, the other day my little niece […]

Sexual Stewardship

You may remember the story Jesus told of the man who entrusted his three servants with various amounts of money (talents), and urged them to manage his affairs well while he was gone. The first two servants were rewarded for trusting their master’s heart, taking a risk, and doubling their investment. The third servant, however, […]

Simplicity and Sex

There’s just not enough time in the day. By the time we try to complete everything we need to do, we crawl into bed exhausted, with nothing but sleep on our minds. We wake up the next morning to start the daily grind all over again.  We’re so busy, there’s just not enough time in […]