Single Sexuality

I don’t see the big deal with having friends with benefits. It’s not like I am cheating anyone. I’ll stop once I get married.

– Brandon

It is not sex unless you go all the way. If I don’t actually do it, I can have fun now and still technically be a virgin on my wedding night.


Mr. Brown (from Meet the Browns) says it best, “Stop being nasty!” If just feels dirty and wrong to have sexual thoughts and feelings; too worldly I suppose.


I have been experiencing same-sex attractions since I was a teen. My coworkers tell me that I am gay; the church is adamant that being gay is an abomination. I don’t know how to make sense of my experiences.



We live in a sex-crazed, truth-starved society. It rejects the truth and pursue its own desires. Unfortunately, many Christian single adults follow suit, miss the heart of the issue, repress their sexuality, of are left in a state of confusion, and don’t know what to do with their sexuality.

God’s vision for our sexuality is much larger than society’s. When we let Him define what it means to be sexual we are able to move from a position of shame and despair to a position of joy and celebration! We no longer have to grasp at straws as the world does, trying to desperately get whatever they can. We can rest in the true and full freedom of Christ and enjoy the dance of the sexes.

We were created as sexual beings with a unique sexual identity. We are men and women with alluring power, erotic desire, and gender attitudes all our own. God empowers us through our sexuality to enjoy the sweet experience of closeness in relationship and a true blessing of intimacy.


(adapted from Soul Virgins: Redefining Single Sexuality)

Becoming soul-sexy is about reflecting God’s image in love, intimacy, and creativity. It has more to do with who we are than what we do (or don’t).

Soul Sexy Man

  • Significant with Respect & Weight
  • Provides Initiative & Safety
  • Proactively Moves Toward Eve, Affirming Her Alluring Beauty
  • Uses Strength in Benevolent Responsibly for Others
  • Moves into the Chaos of a Broken World

Soul Sexy Woman

  • Mysteriously Beautiful & Special
  • Complexly Interactive & Emotionally Connected
  • Confidently Inviting & Openly Receptive
  • Elicits from Adam Hidden Traits of Strength & Movement
  • Nurtures & Protects Life & Relationships

Enjoy the Dance

Christian, Single & Sexual

  • Discover God’s Truth about Sexuality
  • Develop a God-Centered Attitude
  • Embrace Social Sexuality (Gender Relating)
  • Steward Relationships
  • Fight Satan’s Distortions
  • Pursue Purity & Wholeness

If you desire assistance aligning your sexuality with your spiritual values, it would be my privilege to join you in addressing the sexual aspects of your life from a caring, biblical framework, moving towards healing and wholeness.

Each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor.

-1 Thessalonians 4:4

As a counselor, my passion is to help others reach their full God-given potential relationally, sexually, and spiritually. I do this by creating a personal space for individuals and couples, free from the demands of others, to thoughtfully attend to the important and sensitive areas of their life. I work as an ordained Christian minister, licensed marriage and family therapist, and certified sex therapist in private practice in Suwanee, GA.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *