Our actions will have an impact on others, and it’s only fair to consider the extent of this impact. And when it causes harm we should be willing to do whatever it takes to correct it. But this doesn’t mean we must go out of our way to accommodate every complaint. There is a difference between grumbling and stumbling.
Paul makes it clear we are to consider the interests of others and be willing to sacrifice our preferences to answer the call of love. But too often we take this to mean we must keep others emotionally comfortable and not disrupt their sense of peace. While we might avoid rocking the boat, this is only faking the peace and is not true peace. As such, we’re compromising true love and our integrity as we do.
To be sure, being sensitive and responsive to others does not require us to cater to their every mood or otherwise feel responsible for their emotions. Our job is to focus on becoming the man God has called us to be and doing the work he has given us to do.
For instance, in marriage, our wife might be upset because we did something she didn’t like. Certainly, we should consider the nature of this offense, and if it is something for us to own, or not. But we determine this based on God’s standard and not our wife’s. We should immediately repent and seek forgiveness anytime we miss the mark of who God has called us to be as a man, husband, or father. And because our call is to love and not merely make happy, there will be times in which she will be upset and there’s no need for us to apologize or take responsibility for her emotions. Of course, we should care for her emotions and not dismiss them, but this is not the same as accepting blame for sins God has not charged us with.
In the end, love is willing to make necessary sacrifices for the good of others. But don’t confuse this with feeling responsible for every grumbling complaint they might have.
Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
