We often think of love as tender and kind. And so it is. But at times it’s also strict and demanding. It’s discipline that shapes us into the men who can show up when it matters. And, in this way, it is an expression of love, however painful it might be along the way.
We often think of discipline as punishment and therefore the opposite of love. But this misses a true understanding of discipline, love, and even punishment. Love is orientated toward advancing the good of the other, which is also the heart of discipline. And when punishment is corrective in nature, not demeaning or vindictive, it’s a type of love in its own right as well.
Discipline recognizes that excellence is formed through hardship and struggle. Whether an athlete, musician, or businessman, success is found through the blood, sweat, and tears of discipline. And the same is true for us as men, husbands, and fathers seeking to grow in Christ. We must go through many difficulties for the fullness of our glory to be revealed.
Of course, this is not pleasant. And perhaps we pray for our cup of suffering to be removed. But this would be like expecting to win a national championship without submitting to the demands of practice throughout the season. And a coach is not being mean by making his players go through such. This is how he loves them by bringing out their best.
And it’s in this same way that God seeks to bring out our best. He allows lonely nights, conflicts with our wife, and uncertainties in our work – not because he’s mean or uncaring, but because he’s trying to shape us into the men who can make an impact for good in the world around us.
What if you’re not blowing it? And you’re being shaped for something greater?
Formation doesn’t happen by accident. It requires you to say yes to the discipline necessary.
If you’re exploring what it means to become a man who can show up when it matters, you may also appreciate my RISE Crucible for masculine formation.
