Not all sacrifices are created equal. And all too often our attempts at love are more about performing and winning approval rather than a true sacrifice. To offer ourselves truly requires us to first know who we are. And we’re simply being carried on the winds of emotions when we attempt to do otherwise.
King David once refused to offer burnt offerings to God that cost him nothing – insisting instead on paying Araunah for his threshing floor and oxen. And this is what it is like when we serve others from performance rather than from our true selves. We are doing the right thing, but it doesn’t cost us anything because it’s not coming from our true self.
For instance, we might get our wife flowers or help out around the house simply because we don’t want to upset her. While the behavior itself is good, it’s not coming from a heart that’s truly seeking to bring good to his wife – only to manage the potential fall out of her emotions. And, in this way, we’re playing it safe and not putting our heart on the line – avoiding any possible rejection, misunderstanding, or just plain indifference from her.
On the other hand, we’re no longer waiting on her responses or how she receives our efforts when faithfulness and love are simply who we are. Of course, we remain sensitive to her needs. But we’re no longer offering a false sacrifice – one that comes from performance rather than true love.
A true sacrifice is costly because it requires something of us personally – a personal risk and not just anxiously reading the room to manage other’s emotions. Merely appeasing others and sacrificing for them is not the same thing.
Are you simply giving others what they want? Or do you know yourself well enough to pay the true price for your acts of love?
Photo by Reed Shepherd on Unsplash
