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Perhaps we only want others to see our good side while we hide the bad. Or maybe we’re quick to confess our shortcomings while hiding the good we desire. In both cases, we’re not being completely honest. And a strong foundation for our relationships requires us to practice a holistic honesty with each other.

For example, witnesses are charged with telling the whole truth in legal matters. While a partial truth might be accurate, it doesn’t allow the full story to be known and judged accordingly. And we also must practice telling the whole story when it comes to our life and relationships.

For instance, naturally in dating we start with putting our best foot forward – highlighting the good and covering our flaws as best as we can. While we’re not being dishonest per se, true love only grows as we allow others to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of our story. On the other hand, many are quick to confess the parts of their story others would find shameful and embarrassing. And love is also hindered when we only tell the “ugly” parts of our story while dismissing the true desires of our heart.

Holistic honesty calls for us to confess our sins and not shy away from exposing the undone parts of our story with our trusted others. At the same time, we must be honest about what brings us joy and stirs our souls toward goodness. And we’re not telling our whole story when we fail to do both. This blocks others from loving us fully, as well as open the door for seeds of resentment to be planted in our own hearts.

In the end, being honest with others is not just about confessing your sins. It includes sharing your deep desires and moments of joy as well. And it’s this holistic honesty that allows for the fullness of love.

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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