We want change and perhaps we can rightly name the change we want to see in others. It’s frustrating then to remain stuck. The core issue might be one of trust. And to find our way forward we must be willing to lead the way – taking the first step and offering our heart of vulnerability before expecting others to do the same.
For instance, many marriages remain in a stalemate as each spouse essentially waits on the other to make the first move. This can be seen in the couple that dates perpetually and never moves closer to marriage as well. Either way, we might easily see the things our wife needs to do and wonder why she doesn’t respond to our many initiations. But the issue might be in the type of initiations we’re making.
On the one hand, it’s good to invite her into our world and inquire about the deep movements of her heart. But sometimes the reverse is also needed. We need to humbly enter into her world and be willing to offer our deep heart as well. And it’s this last point that’s often a key to shifting the atmosphere in our relationships for the better – a willingness to be vulnerable ourselves.
We unwittingly keep others at arms distance and our relationships stale when we always look to them to move toward and share their hearts with us. And when they become resistant, this might be the clue that we need to lead the way first. Our vulnerability builds the trust needed for them to do the same; otherwise it’s like expecting them to strip naked while we remain fully clothed. We should not expect them to offer to us what we’re not first willing to offer to them.
In the end, the relationship you desire might require you to lead the way – offering your vulnerable heart first before expecting others to do the same.
Photo by Szőcs Viola on Unsplash
