Being a leader is not the same as being a bully and merely pushing our own agenda. But it does require a clear vision and the courage to make informed requests. We’re not leading by just supporting the decisions others want to make.
For instance, in marriage, we’re to love our wife as Christ loved the church. And while his invitation and expectations for us are clear, he still respects our freedom to turn away. To be sure, there were many early disciples who turned away after hearing some of his hard teachings.
In a similar way, we love and lead in our marriage not by simply consenting to all the things our wife already wants to do. Nor is it leadership to micromanage or otherwise become a tyrant in her daily life.
We lead by having a vision of the good God has for us as a couple, and the unique good for our wife in particular. Our job is to protect and care for our wife so that she becomes like a radiant bride, just as Christ does for the church. And this will require us to bear with her shortcomings and failings, her sins, wounds, and areas where her faith needs to be exercised.
Our leadership becomes more effective the more we have a clear vision of who God has called her to be. And it’s then from this position we cast vision and make requests, as we seek to guide her towards God’s best.
We’re ultimately looking to follow God’s agenda in our leadership and not our own, or even hers. We become a selfish bully when we just want things our way. But we become an ineffective husband when we merely just support the decision she already wants to make. And, either way, we fail in our duty to love when we’re not consistently inviting our family to follow us as we follow Christ.
In the end, leadership is not about demanding, nor is it merely affirming what others already want to do. It’s learning to discern God’s will and decisively inviting others to follow you as you pursue God’s best for them.
Photo by Micah & Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash
