Individual accomplishments and failures matter little without some context to understand them. And this is true whether watching our favorite Olympic athlete compete, or simply making sense of the ups and downs of our daily relationships. Stories matter. And we love best when we know the stories that shape our lives.
To be sure, one’s athletic prowess might become its own story, as fans cheer to see the next accomplishment, and equally disappointed when failure comes. But part of what makes these wins and losses more meaningful is the personal context they bring to this story as well. We’re more invested in their athletic outcomes when we can also connect with their humanity outside of their given sport.
Perhaps this is easier to do with public figures, as there are degrees of separation between their life and ours. Their story resonates with us without our daily lives being impacted. On the other hand, it’s harder to remember the story of those closest to us, as there’s an undeniable cost for us personally as they experience the ups and downs of life. We cannot just turn on another channel, for instance, when our wife is having a bad day.
But while messier to navigate, it’s still helpful to remember the importance of story. All too often we take the actions of others too personally – assuming we’re the center of everyone else’s story when they have their own. Knowing our wife’s story, for example, whether from childhood or just a given day, can help us to better make sense of how she shows up in a given moment. This doesn’t negate its impact either way, but it does help us to extend more compassion and grace.
In the end, deepen your appreciation and love of others by taking the time to know their story. This allows you to connect with their heart, beyond merely knowing the facts.
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