***Read the Transcript***

Most of us have likely wondered how we measure up and we’re often reassured that size really doesn’t matter But I’ll suggest you that it does, but probably not in a way that we think. Let’s dive in.

Am I normal?

Most of us likely pulled out measuring tape at some point growing up just to see how we compared. We measure and compare all sorts of things, and so of course we’ll be curious to see how our penis size compared to others as well. But, unfortunately, like we mentioned in the video in the locker room, many of us were not exposed to concrete images of what normal men look like and so this left us with porn and the many exaggerations of our peers to compare ourselves to, which then often fueled our insecurity when it felt like we were not measuring up.

Penis size insecurities

Advertisers took advantage of this insecurity and capitalized on selling us countless pills and creams, injections, and devices. All promising us we could finally be a real man and satisfy our partner if only we could have a bigger penis. And many of us took the bait.

Collective obsession with penis size

Seeing this trend and ongoing obsession, many in the medical community then sought to ease our anxiety and settle our questioning hearts by telling us very scientifically what the average penis size was, which is about 5 inches and some change in the US. And when our underlying obsession remained, many other helping professionals joined the bandwagon, encouraging us not to care so much about the size of our penis.

Even in preparing for this video, ChatGPT wanted to reassure me that there are more important factors to my manliness and sexual satisfaction than the size of my penis. Thanks!

Body Acceptance for Men

And there’s a lot of good here – learning to accept our bodies penis and all exactly as God crafted it, and not disrespecting it by wishing it was somehow different. And even knowing scientifically where we fall helps to normalize us, and helps us to remember that we’re probably not too far from average

The Deeper Question

At the same time, I don’t think the question that we’re asking is primarily a scientific question or even one of body acceptance. I think that the deeper question we’re asking is wanting to know if we have what it takes as men. Do we measure up as a man? Can we show up and make a difference? And I think penis size is simply a symbolic way to answer this deeper question

The Story of Penis Size – It’s symbolic

A big penis represents potency and strength and life -giving power and penetrating presence. This is the story its size tells and we want to participate in that story to know that we too can embody such virility. And so our obsession with size is less literal and more symbolic.

And in this way our size does matter because it’s a story we tell about ourselves as embodied men. God created us to embody power and passion, to show up and make a difference, to penetrate the world around us, conceiving new life and making an impact for good. And so symbolically it’s not wishful thinking to want a bigger penis, as it points to and reveals these deeper desires to bring the fullness of our strength to our life and relationships. And playing it small not only misses the mark and shortchanges who got called us to be, it leaves an ache and void in the heart and souls of those around us.

And so yes, the measure of a man does not depend on the literal size of his penis, but we must not fall into the modern trap of taking everything so literally or scientifically.

We can discover a deeper truth and meaning even in things like our obsession with penis size when we learn to see things more symbolically.

A Call to Artist – Celebrate our Embodiment

Perhaps one day we’ll have more artists and creatives who can help to shape our imagination in this direction. I’d love to see more artwork and images and stories that don’t shy away from our embodied realities, but don’t objectify them either.

I believe part of the allure and power of porn is that it tells an unapologetically sexual story, but it tells a story that tends to be fragmented and that is disconnected from body and soul.

We need more stories and images that tell a holistic, integrated story that allows us to the celebrate who we are as sexual beings in body and soul. And I believe that this will create the space for us to ponder the deeper mysteries that things like penis size are actually gesturing toward.

But until then, remember, size does matter, but probably not in the usual way you think. Take care.