Fog makes terrible driving conditions. And we likewise stumble around in the dark when a cloud of confusion hovers over our life. But sometimes we’re so used to it that we’re not aware of our own disorientation. With maturity comes the gift of clarity.
Perhaps this is easiest to see in marriage. Many days husbands and wives feel like they’re speaking a completely different language. We think we understand each other, only to realize later just how much we don’t. And what a gift it is when there’s a break in the clouds and we can finally get on the same page. Of course, clouds and mystery remain, but there’s greater clarity in our dance together as we grow.
And this plays out in our own journey of formation. Most days it feels like we’re doing everything we’re supposed to do, but something still seems off. Life is foggy, but maybe this is just as good as it gets. But there remains this nagging sense that there must still be something more.
Marriage itself provides a crucible that exposes many of our undone parts as we learn to do life with our wife. But we need a similar container for our masculine formation as well. And the gift of this crucible is clarity.
No longer are we beating ourselves up wondering why we just can’t get it together, what’s wrong with us when our wife blames us for the state of our marriage, or what we’re missing when all our success still doesn’t feel like the abundant life Christ promised.
We learn to see instead how God is refining us. To be sure, clouds and mystery remain. But these are also invitations to submit our strength to the work that can form us into the men who can make an impact for good without losing our hearts along the way.
The gift of clarity is not that all our questions are answered, but that we know who we are and how God is forming us. This allows us to step into our role in God’s larger story with greater steadiness, humility, and strength.
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