There’s a reason fairy tales often include a curse or a dark spell that must be broken. It mirrors the story we’re living in as well. And we need the eyes to see this spiritual warfare for what it is so we can accurately interpret our story, which might be especially true in our marriage and sexuality.
For instance, it’s easy to take our wife’s nagging or sexual rejection personally. And these do come with a high personal cost. But it’s a mistake to assume that she’s just willfully trying to get under our skin or deny us the joys of our shared sexual intimacy. Of course, her own selfishness and sin does play a part. And there is often more going on than what meets the eye.
For example, her nagging might be the result of evil’s snare – dulling her senses and causing her to believe the lie that she must control every relational interaction to remain protected and safe. Her nagging is less about willfully trying to control us, and more about the way evil has deceived her into believing this is how she must protect herself.
In the same way, evil might have also fooled her into believing that sex is dirty and should only be tolerated when trying to have a baby. This poisonous lie has crept into her heart and makes it difficult to open to sexual encounters otherwise.
To be sure, on both accounts, and any other, she remains responsible for the choices she makes. But understanding how she might also be under the spell of the evil helps us posture ourselves as we interact with her. Instead of fighting against her, we can now fight on her behalf – using our power and authority in Christ to break any spell or claims evil might have over her.
And this requires a shift in our own heart as well. We’re no longer fighting to merely stop the nagging and have more sex. We’re fighting for the heart of our wife – for her to be free and experience the fullness of life God has for her. And more peace and sex just happen to be the fruit that comes from this.
In the end, consider how evil might be influencing your wife – not to attack or blame her, but to fight on her behalf. You have the power and authority in Christ to help her break these spells.
