We do the things important to us. And, in this way, our life will reflect our values whether consciously or not. But some values are aspirational – painting a picture and giving us direction even before we’ve fully embodied them ourselves. These serve as a compass rather than a report card.
Of course, part of integrity is matching our actions and behaviors with our professed values. And we’re being hypocritical when these are not aligned. But aspirational values function in a different way. They simply tell us if we’re on the way.
A report card judges our past performance to tell us how well we did. There’s a place for this and it provides needed correction in many areas. But a compass is not concerned about the ground we’ve already covered, and remains focused on orientating us on our journey ahead.
There are many virtues we admire but hesitate to claim because we don’t feel like it’s true of us. This is actually a mark of our integrity – not wanting to lie to ourselves or to others if something is not really true. But integrity here is judged by our willingness to keep pressing toward the mark.
It’s not hypocritical to say this is who I am becoming. In fact, it might be more hypocritical to not.
Becoming requires something of us. We must be shaped and formed, which comes through discipline and suffering. But this also means we have a vision to the kind of man we’re being shaped into.
Boldly claiming this is who I am and this is who I’m becoming is not pretentious. It gives us our true north to press toward.
The question is not, “Have you become the man you long to be?” But, “Are you still pressing forward in the right direction?”
Photo by Mason Hassoun on Unsplash
