All too often we play the blame game – deferring our responsibilities and blaming everyone but ourselves. But the opposite is not helpful either. While we have our part to play, it’s a subtle form of pride to assume we bear the sole responsibility for all the issues in our life and relationships.
Of course, our choices and sins will have a direct impact on the atmosphere we create around us. And in this way there are no truly secret sins. While a behavior might be hidden, the poison in our hearts will eventually seep into all our relationships. As such, we do well to regularly confess and bring what’s in the dark into the light.
But this confession is not to then assume more than what is ours to bear. Taking responsibility for our shortcomings doesn’t require us to accept the blame for everything that has gone wrong.
For instance, we might hold a key role at work. And many others will suffer if we drop the ball. At the same time, the work generally continues without us. And certainly this is the case in God’s kingdom. While no one can fulfill our unique role the way we can, success doesn’t ultimately depend on us.
Likewise, our marriage will suffer when we don’t fulfill our duty to love our wives. At the same time, it’s arrogant to assume our marriage rests entirely on our shoulders. This discounts the contributions of our wife, for better or worse. We both are responsible for playing the part God has given us. And while we should fully own our role, part of the risk and humility of marriage is that it’s not all on us.
In the end, don’t blame others for what’s yours to own. But don’t assume more than what is yours either. Take responsibility for your part without letting pride tempt you to believe that everything is on you.
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