Our desires are regularly distorted, which in turn tempts us to sin. But we must not confuse the desire with the temptation. There are many good and holy things we desire, but we’re tempted to satisfy these desires apart from God and the manner in which he has called us to live. Rejecting the temptation doesn’t mean we have to also kill the desire. There’s no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
For instance, while we naturally crave food, junk food might be our temptation. But killing our taste for junk food does not require us to stop desiring the many savory delights of food itself. We must simply learn to distinguish between the food that feeds our body and soul from that which is empty calories and brings harm. And the same is true sexually.
All too often we conflate sexual temptation to sin with sexual desire itself. As such, any sexual desire on our part now feels wrong. In our attempt to avoid sexual sin we’ve tried to kill our desire. But unwittingly we’ve traded one sin for another.
To be sure, it’s a sin to waste our sexual energy in unholy avenues. But it’s also a sin to hold back our sexual selves in fear – effectively burying what God has given us and failing to discover how to use it to bring more life and goodness into the world. Both extremes miss the mark of sexual faithfulness.
The temptation not only tempts us to indulge apart from God, but to also deny the very desires he has given us. We mature by recognizing and honoring the true desires God has given, rejecting the lies of the temptation, and then faithfully protecting, cultivating, and enjoying all the goodness and beauty God has graced us with.
In the end, hold tight to every good and holy desire God has given you, without being deceived that you can satisfy this apart from God or that the desire itself is inherently bad. Desire and temptation are not the same thing.
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