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Typically, we think of sexual faithfulness in terms of avoiding the bad – not cheating or acting out in clearly sinful ways. But faithfulness is a two-sided coin. While it includes the absence of the negative, it must also include the presence of the positive.

Perhaps we now want to live faithfully after years of indulging our sexual desires in sinful pursuits. We want to leave this old life behind and find victory over our past sins.

And initially, a lot of our time and attention is rightly spent in putting to death our old ways  – doing whatever it takes not to let this sin control our lives.

But our path toward faithfulness doesn’t end here. After stopping the misuse of our sexuality, we must now also discover what our sexuality is for. And this flip side might be even harder than the first.

We’re prone to all-or-nothing approaches to life. And here it seems as if our options are either a life full of sexual sins or the complete shutting down of our sexuality in an attempt to avoid even the risk of sin.

But neither of these options allows us to pursue true sexual faithfulness – discovering, engaging, and celebrating in the fullness of who God has created us to be as sexual beings.

And, to be sure, this pursuit comes with risks. We will likely face many temptations and make a few mistakes along the way.

But like the parable of the talents, these are risks we must accept to truly be faithful to what God has entrusted to us. Fearfully playing it safe and burying our sexuality is not being faithful. In fact, the servant who hid his master’s money was called wicked and lazy.

By all means, diligently put to death your past sexual sins. And remember faithfulness also includes now discovering and fully engaging who God has created you to be as a sexual man.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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