Love brings much peace and security into our relationships. It’s refreshing to rest in our bond of loyalty and to know we will always be there for each other. But it’s a mistake to assume such love will remove all conflict. Conflict is natural in every relationship, even with ourselves.
Of course, love seeks each other’s goodwill. And it doesn’t fight just for the sake of fighting. But this doesn’t mean that love is lacking just because we have conflict with each other. In fact, the conflict might be a sign of how much love we’ve invested, as we fight for the things that matter and with people who matter the most to us. The conflict arises because we’ve committed to doing life together rather than quickly dismissing each other when things get hard.
For instance, in marriage our approach to money, parenting, or sex might be different than our wife’s, which can lead to many points of tension. Love does not remove these differences, but it does ease them. It doesn’t eliminate the conflict, but it allows us to extend grace to each other when we disagree – giving each other the benefit of the doubt and searching for the good all the same.
This is what we do with ourselves. We don’t usually beat ourselves up when we struggle to make up our minds on an issue. Internally we’re torn, but we remain patient and kind with ourselves until we find our way forward. And this is how we’re to love others as well – not demanding instant harmony but, in grace, humbly doing the work that creates the harmony.
In the end, don’t lose heart when conflict remains with those you love. Love softens our conflict but it does not eliminate it. Continue extending grace and fighting for a deeper harmony together.
Photo by Micah & Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash
