Life comes with many unexpected plot twists. What seems like a reasonable expectation is not how reality plays out, and we must shift gears. However normal this might be, we must still be kind to ourselves as we adjust to reality on its terms.
For instance, perhaps our heart has slowly soured to what was once a satisfying career, we realize it’s time to say goodbye to the community we thought would always be there, or maybe we’re a girl dad when we wanted sons, or vice versa. Whatever it looks like, it can be a hard shift when our heart was set on a particular vision but our story turns out in a different way.
It’s important to recognize this shift so we don’t misinterpret it or take unnecessary baggage with us going forward. On the one hand, something meaningful is loss and we do well to grieve the vision that no longer is. This grief turns into bitterness and we’re prone to project it onto our current path when we don’t. We might resent and blame what is because we assume it kept us from our original desires.
But it’s best to see these as two separate realities. Our grief for the vision left behind is not a verdict on the path that’s now before us. As such, grief and gratitude can be present at the same time. We’re sad for what we don’t have while still being grateful for what we do. And these feelings don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
All the same, it might take time and grace for us to shift gears. But this space allows us to honor the deep movements of our heart – letting go of what was and fully engaging in what is.
In the end, life is filled with many unexpected plot twists. Be kind to yourself as you shift gears – allowing space for both grief and gratitude.
Photo by Deniz Demirci on Unsplash
