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Puberty – Marks of Manhood

So, I remember growing up, starting puberty and being very excited that I was growing body hair…that my body was communicating that I was becoming a man, and while I had no desire to get anyone pregnant at that time, it was still pretty intoxicating to my young soul to know that I could, that I had the power within my body to conceive new life.

And I love that my body was giving these signals, these markers, these tangible, concrete realities that I was becoming a man, that I had displayed in my very body the marks of masculine maturity.

Collective Trend of Manscaping – Removing Marks of Maturity

I later learned that some guys in their manscaping would go all the way, much beyond just trimming and keeping everything tidy; they would actually remove all of their pubic hair. And this became very curious for me, particularly in light of this series…that part of the series is unveiling the masculine, in which we’re exploring the ways in which the marks of our masculinity, the marks for manhood have been erased or minimized. And so, again, it became very curious and hard not to make the connection between this collective trend of removing the people pubic hair. And so, I’m not so much concerned about the individual male who again, his personal preferences and how he chooses to groom himself is one thing. But when there’s a collective trend toward the removal of our pubic hair…that becomes very curious for me. And so what are we communicating as a collective when we are shaving off the marks of our masculine maturity?

Non-physical Markers of Maturity

And perhaps the absence of these physical markers of our sexual maturity would not be so sharp or glaring if there was evidence that we were still maturing in the relational spiritual aspects of our sexuality. But this doesn’t seem to be the case…that we’re removing the marks of our physical maturity, but we’re not getting the marks of our relational spiritual maturity either.

When I talk to many men, they seem stunted in their sexual development that in many ways they approach sex like infants or toddlers. Sometimes I describe this like a baby at his mother’s breast, that for that young infant, he has no concept of motherhood or who his mom is as a unique individual person with her own hopes, dreams, and aspirations. For that infant, he’s simply hungry, and this boob feeds him. He’s consuming with what it offers without thought of motherhood or who this unique individual person is.

And for many men, this is how we approach sex, that we approach with very little care or concern for the unique person of the other, that this… this encounter is just about what we can consume from the other.

Becoming Self-Aware

And so many ways we’re still stunted in our sexual maturity. And so while our pubic hair might be a physical marker of our sexual maturity, I would say three markers as it relates to just our relational spiritual maturity will include one, simply being self -aware, that we know how to possess our own vessel physically, mentally, emotional, spiritually and otherwise, that we know who God has created us to be as sexual beings, and we are committed to discipline ourselves to move toward that ideal.

Becoming Other-aware

The second marker will be that of being other-aware that we realize that people are not simply objects for us to consume…that they have their own dignity and personhood that needs to be honored in its own right, and that who they are influences how we show up and dance with them.

Becoming God-aware

The third marker is being God-aware, and not initially even in the sense of moral standards of right and wrong, but more in the sense of where can we go from His presence, that in Him we live and move and have our being…that ideally our sex life is not separate and apart from our life with God, rather a life with God includes the depth and profound richness of our sexual life as well.

Certainly, I think it’s good to have both physical and non-physical markers of our sexual maturity. But regardless of whether you decide to keep your pubic hair or not, I hope that you are growing in displaying these markers of being self-aware other-aware, and God-aware in your journey of sexual maturity.