The Cost of Staying Hidden
There is a risk to coming out of hiding. Others may not only be disappointed by what we reveal, they may shake their heads in disbelief or even turn their backs on us. We must count this cost and not assume everyone will extend us grace.
All the same, we must not pretend there’s no cost to staying hidden. Both roads are costly. We must decide whether we want the loneliness of protecting the image we’ve created or the risk of being truly known.
This is about much more than confessing our sins or disclosing the painful things that have happened to us. It is about believing we can still be loved after someone knows.
Shame convinces us that hiding is the safest option. If no one knows, then no one can reject us. We protect ourselves by controlling what others see, hoping that if we simply carry on, the secret will quietly disappear.
For a while, this strategy seems to work. Days, weeks, or even years can pass as we carefully manage our image. But eventually the divided self becomes exhausting. Anxiety grows. Relationships become more superficial. We may protect ourselves from being exposed, but we also prevent ourselves from being known.
Our fig leaves hide our shame, but they also hide us.
And our souls will not rest until we are known.
God’s Invitation to Be Found
After Adam and Eve sewed together their fig leaves and hid, God came looking for them. He knew exactly where they were, but his questions were inviting them back into relationship. God was stepping toward Adam even before Adam ever stepped out of hiding.
The same is true for us.
Sometimes healing requires initiating a difficult conversation and entrusting our story to someone else. Other times, it simply means stopping the endless running, lowering our defenses, and allowing ourselves to be found.
Healing Begins with Being Known
This doesn’t need to be everyone. In fact, most have neither the right nor have earned the privilege to access the deep waters of our story. But someone does – a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or the like.
Someone needs backstage access to our lives—someone who can witness the good, the bad, and the ugly. Someone who receives not another carefully stitched fig leaf of explanations, minimization, or blame, but the simple, naked truth.
This is where healing begins.
Shame grows in secrecy. Darkness and hiding leave us isolated and vulnerable to the enemy’s accusations. But there is remarkable freedom when the light of grace reaches the places we’ve spent years trying to keep hidden.
To be sure, stepping into the light is not the end of the journey. It’s only the beginning.
Once we’ve stepped into the light, another challenge emerges. Are we willing to surrender the image we’ve spent years protecting in order to become the man God is forming us to be?
