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We are all actors. From a young age, we learn to perform for others and give them the show they are expecting.

This is not necessarily a bad thing.

It is reasonable to expect we will play the part for whatever job we were hired to do. This is our responsibility and we could not keep a job if we did not perform the role.

Likewise, we play our part as husbands, providing and caring for our wife and family even when we don’t feel like it.  Again, this is simply our role to play.

The problem comes when we spend our whole life on stage, performing for others and even ourselves, that we forget to put our backstage in order.

When we spend all our time and energy ensuring we are only seen in the best possible light, we actually lose our ability to genuinely connect with others. All they get is our front stage performance, and not our True Selves.

This can play out even in our Christian life.

For example, we may proudly proclaim we’re “just a sinner saved by grace” to play the part of a Good Christian Man. Meanwhile, backstage, we are not actually grieved over our sin; we just know the right things to say to appear good. As such, true transformation never takes place in our life.

And because we are such good actors, we often fool ourselves as well. We’ve played the parts for so long, we are only aware of our front stage self. Our backstage stays in the shadows.

This can only go on for so long. Eventually, if our backstage is not put in order, it will disrupt and cause havoc in our life and relationships.

Who has access to the backstage of your life?

This is not a pass you should hand out to just anyone. But someone needs to have access.

Certainly, we need to go there ourselves, and we also need a few good men who have full access to the messy and undone parts of our life.

We need men who can go backstage and help us keep things in order. We can then play our parts in life with integrity.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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