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Some people have the right to know our full story, while others earn the privilege. And still others have neither. Our stories are sacred and we must wisely consider who has backstage access to our life.

Generally speaking, parents have the right to know everything about their kids’ lives, at least while they’re growing up. They are responsible for their kids and being fully informed allows them to provide the best care on their behalf.

In marriage, our wife also has the right to know us fully. And if we fail to tell her the whole truth of who we are, we’re attempting to build a marriage on a foundation of deception. This poison eventually erodes the depth of love and intimacy possible.

On the other hand, the nature of friendship doesn’t come with rights to know per se. Here, access to the sacred parts of our story is earned. Through the sweat equity of relationship building we gain the respect, trust, and privilege to witness the otherwise hidden aspects of each other’s story.

Finally, there are those who neither have the right nor the privilege to our full story. These might be seasonal acquaintances, nosy family members, or outer circle friends. Sharing too much in these relationships can invite harm as they’re more likely to treat casually what is sacred.

In the end, we have the responsibility to respect rights, honor privileges, and set appropriate boundaries around our story.

Pain, hurt, and frustration are the result whenever we don’t wisely discern who has access to the different parts of our life.

Freely open to those who either have the right or have earned the privilege to your story. And courageously deny those who don’t.  This protects the sacredness of your story while still allowing for deep intimacy and growth.

Photo by Luke Ellis-Craven on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024


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