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All friends are not equal. Some are in our inner circle while others occupy an honored place in outer circles. Knowing the role each friend plays in our life allows us to invest our time and energy wisely.

We spread ourselves thin when we try to be equally available to everyone. And our lives remain impoverished if we don’t let someone in to the deeper parts of our life.

We need those in our inner circle without diminishing the value of those in the outer.

Inner Circle

Our inner circle contains those closest to us – those we might even consider our brothers.

These are not the men we “catch up” with occasionally, but the men we naturally do life together with.

Even when there is physical distance, there remains a bond that allows us to speak deeply into each other’s life – encouraging, supporting, and confronting as needed.

There is nothing hidden from these men. These are the guys we can bare our naked souls to and fear no shame.

The depth and intensity of this circle makes it open only to a few men. Most of our friendships will fall into outer circles.

Outer Circles

The outer circles contain our more casual relationships. These relationships are still deeply meaningful, but they occupy a different role and require a different energy investment.

These may be the guys in our small group, ones we share a common interest with, or friends of friends.

These are the guys we might look forward to “catching up” with, but probably don’t give full backstage access to our lives. Their access is limited to certain areas.

All the same, this level is open to many different guys, as each only requires a limited investment from us. And this allows us to benefit from their many different perspectives and gifts, as we freely offer them ours as well.

Consciously placing each friend in their proper circle allows us to love them and ourselves better.

We can go deep with our inner circle while still having the energy to bless and care for those in the outer circles.

Take time to consider who is in your circle of friends.

Photo by josephredfield on Pixabay

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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