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We are relational beings to our core. It’s part of our created design and our souls thrive in meaningful connection. But much more than casual connecting, we need people to join us in doing life together.

We know the friends to call to watch a game with, discuss current events, or help us with a project or two around the house.

And these are good friends. What more could be asked for?

While it’s certainly good to have friends to meet up with on a regular basis and enjoy shared interests with, this is not the same as doing life together.

Life together involves walking with each other through the big events of life as well as the small ones – the profound and the mundane.

Yes, it’s being there for the weddings and births and graduations. But also, to share that funny thing that happened at work, pick up each other’s mail when we’re out-of-town, and even to help out when the demands of parenting become overwhelming.

Life together is not a special event or planned occasion. It is simply sharing daily realities with another, no fanfare required.

Typically, we look to marriage to fulfill these desires.

And, to be sure, marriage can meet a lot of these needs. At the same time, it’s not fair to ask our spouse to meet all our needs for community and a life together.

For others, parents, siblings, and extended family fill in the gaps. And this is a rich blessing whenever it is available.

However, for most of us, cultivating meaningful friendships to do life together remains a need.

Naturally, these are not relationships we form with just anyone. Even Jesus was prayerfully selective in naming his inner circle.

All the same, such friends are a necessary luxury. While we can make it without them, we will not thrive.

So, by all means, enjoy the fun moments simply hanging out with friends.

And pray also for a few good men to join you in doing life together.

Photo by Sammie Vasquez on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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