Love is often portrayed as soft and compassionate, which it is. But at times it’s also hard and severe. And we must not neglect this severe side of love, especially when it comes to setting our homes in order and raising our kids.
To be sure, God is both kind and severe. His tender mercies are new every morning, and it’s also a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. And this is love. It is God’s love that showers us with grace as well as disciplines us when needed. And it’s this same love that we should each also reflect in parenting.
At the same time, it seems mothers are generally more prone to provide the kindness, while fathers the severity. This doesn’t mean we should be harsh with our kids. But we shouldn’t be afraid of instilling a healthy dose of fear either. And if someone has to be the bad cop as it were, this should probably be a mantle we take on before giving it to our wives.
Of course, there should still be plenty of times in which our kids enjoy our loving embrace, hear our words of encouragement, and see our tender heart toward them. But they should also know deep in their bones that some things will not be tolerated, and that we will zealously enforce God’s standards for our home.
This is not being mean or merely pushing our own agenda. It’s seeking to submit to God’s rule for our life and faithfully execute the role of father he has given us. This also frees our wife to settle more into the gentle and radiate side of her motherhood – no longer needing to be as hard and severe with the kids to pick up the lack from our side.
In the end, let your fatherhood reflect the love of God – being both kind and severe as the situation demands.
