We typically try to avoid or, at least, overcome our marital struggles. And certainly joy is not usually associated with these challenges. But the universal principle of trials can be applied to our marriage as well.
Paul tells us that we can rejoice when we run into problems and trials because they help us to develop endurance. And this endurance then helps to forge our character, and character our confident hope in the story God is telling.
While we rightly think of this in spiritual terms, or trials of our faith, there’s no reason not to include our marriage in these considerations. To be sure, our marriage is part of the battleground and crucible God uses for our transformation, and it’s helpful to consider marital struggles also from this lens.
As such, it’s shortsighted to see marital fights as just a point of winning or losing with each other. Even when objectively there might be hills worth dying on, or retreating back from, this is rarely the only issue at play. More important is how this particular conflict is transforming us for the better.
And, with Paul, our problems in marriage help us to develop more patience, as our many hidden areas of self-centeredness get exposed. And this patience helps to develop our character, which not only blesses our wife, but everyone we’re in relationship with as well. In time, we can also see how our marriage participates in the larger story God is telling. And this gives us confidence that God is up to something good as we remain faithful to our vows through the many ups and downs of our marriage.
In the end, we rejoice when we face even the struggles of marriage not because the experience is pleasant, but because of the good God is working out through it.
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