We often assume our desires are bad when we find ourselves doing what we don’t want to do. But many times the original, deeper desire is good, it has just been attached to a wrong or otherwise perverted outlet. There’s wisdom in learning how to practice the freedom of desire.
For instance, our desire for junk food is not the deepest, truest desire we’re craving. And this is why merely trying to kill the desire usually fails. Our body was made to need food and our soul’s beauty. And so, part of what we are looking for in junk food is true nourishment that also delights the soul. This is a good desire as it reflects how God has designed us. But the problem comes when we attach this desire to food that slowly poisons the body.
Practicing freedom of desire allows us to honor the desire itself while staying open to how it’s fulfilled. We’re free to enjoy all sorts of savory delicacies. And we should be equally free to reject any food that brings harm to the temple God has given us to steward.
And this is true with all our other desires as well. For example, there’s goodness in our desires for success, status, and sex. And we don’t have to throw the baby out with the bathwater just because it’s easy for these desires to become distorted.
Keeping our desires free gives us the freedom to express them in many different ways. For instance, a desire for sexual variety doesn’t require us to hang from the chandeliers per se. The desire for variety is not the problem, but demanding a particular expression might be.
We enslave ourselves and can bring much heartache to others when our desires are not free.
In the end, maturity doesn’t require you to kill your desires, but it does call for them to remain free. And this freedom empowers you to use your desires in the service of love rather than merely pacifying your selfish demands.
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