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As young kids, we are innocent and yet vulnerable.  We want to trust in the goodness of the world around us, but it’s not long into our journey before our tender hearts are broken in some way. Naturally, we then seek to protect ourselves from more harm. But the wall of protection we build around our hearts can also stunt our growth in this area. And this is why years later we might still feel like a little child in certain situations. Often we must go back and consider the way we might be overprotecting the young parts of ourselves to live with greater freedom and power today.

For instance, if we didn’t make the team or we were otherwise made fun of for not knowing or being able to do what the other boys did, this might have left a deep wound in our soul. In response to this hurt, we then made a secret vow to ourselves to never be in this situation again. And so, perhaps we became very driven or a perfectionist as a way to protect ourselves from this pain. We were determined to prove we had what it took, and therefore we could no longer show any weakness.

As an adult, we assume this is just our personality. And perhaps it is to a degree. But it’s also our way to protect that little boy still inside that fears being exposed and humiliated. Any time we’re faced with uncertainty, we feel like that little boy, and redouble our efforts to prove our worth.

We must surrender this overprotection to allow ourselves to remember and live in God’s truth. While we have plenty of room to grow, we have what it takes to accomplish God’s call for our life, and there’s nothing we have to prove. This allows us to offer our strength from a confident peace rather than desperation and fear.

In the end, what you call your personality might be your way of overprotecting the young parts of your heart. Recognize this tendency, repent, and trust in God accordingly.  

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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