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We learn early in life how to survive. In fact, much of what we call our personality is simply an elaborate fig leaf we use to hide and protect our vulnerable heart. But sometimes our defenses become too good and our heart is ultimately neglected. This creates a fault line between our outer and inner worlds. And this can eventually make the foundation of our life and relationships unstable.

To be sure, we all have these dual realities between our external and internal worlds. But ideally they’re in alignment with each other. And they’re more likely to crash into each other and shake things up the greater the fracture or discontinuity between them.

For instance, on the surface we might have a great job and a family that loves us. But if we’ve not cared for our heart along the way we might be unaware of the deep movements it’s still making. And, in time, we might find ourselves living a double life – the surface life that everyone sees, and the hidden, secret life that gives our heart at least a taste of its desires.

And perhaps for years things on the surface will continue to appear stable. But, sooner or later, our hidden world collides into the house of cards we’ve built on the surface and it all comes crashing down.

We create an unstable fault line when our outer and inner worlds are disconnected from each other. And it’s foolish to simply try to rebuild our surface life without also trying to heal this disconnect. While these will always be two separate realities, ideally our external life is a consistent reflection of our inner world. We cannot thrive in life without our hearts fully intact.

In the end, don’t let the disconnect between your inner and outer worlds create an unstable fault line in your life and relationships. Satisfying your responsibilities doesn’t require you to neglect your heart along the way.

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Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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