Report cards provide us with valuable feedback – letting us know those areas in which we’re excelling, and those in which there’s much room for improvement. But this feedback is for us and not for others. And we set ourselves up for much frustration when we expect others to live by our standards.
Of course, we naturally hold ourselves to a certain standard. This is simply part of how we live with our integrity – our external actions and behaviors aligned with our internal values and beliefs. And guilt is an emotion that lets us know when we’ve compromised and received a failing grade.
Ideally, this then motivates us to make things right. But, either way, all of this is work on our side of the street. Our report card is for us to learn and make adjustments as necessary to become who God has called us to be. It is not the standard we then apply to others.
For instance, we might communicate love to others by quickly replying to their messages, giving up our personal time to be with them, or by getting them special gifts just because. All these things are consistent with our practice of love. And to not do them would be to compromise our own integrity.
While these are good things, they’re also the itemized practices on our personal report card. And it wouldn’t be fair to judge others accordingly. They have their own.
To be sure, we’re all called to love. And it’s a righteous judgment when we see each other missing this mark. But how we practice love might be different from our wife. And we only frustrate ourselves when we expect her to show us love by the very same actions we show it to her. She has her own report card of love, as do we.
In the end, let your report card be for you to learn and grow, not to impose onto others.
