Prayer requires a childlike humility as we look to God to give us what we cannot do on our own. And with this is also our need for surrender, which is especially true in relationships. While we gladly highlight the areas of improvement in others, the better approach is praying on their behalf. But this requires us to surrender our pride and attempt to control.
When our kid misbehaves we naturally instruct them how to do better next time. And much of this is simply our duty as a father. But this automatic response can fuel our sense of control and diminish our willingness to turn to God.
We might do the same thing when our wife is being critical or otherwise disrespectful toward us. Our first response is either to blindly accept it as true, which leads to resentment, or to quickly become defensive – letting her know all the ways in which she’s missing the mark.
Of course, there might be truth in what she says that we need to take to heart. And there are times to lovingly correct each other. But we’re more prone to take matters into our own hands in both of these cases rather than taking the matter to God in prayer.
What would be different if we prayed for our wife and kid more than we tried to change their behaviors?
God can work in their hearts in ways we cannot. And so when they’re doing things not pleasing to him, this becomes a great opportunity to pray on their behalf rather than merely trying to fix the situation ourselves. And often God will change us through our prayers to be a better vehicle of his love in their lives. Our frustration becomes the prayer that softens our own hearts. But this requires us to surrender our will and efforts to God.
In the end, stay engaged in addressing relational issues. But don’t neglect your need to surrender these matters to God in prayer. The change you desire will come through his grace and not your efforts to control.
Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels
