Love requires us to make reasonable accommodations for others – adjusting our expectations to what they can actually give rather than what simply makes our life easier. At the same time, this is a two-way street. This is not to expect others to accommodate us per se, but to acknowledge and honor the accommodations we might need to make for ourselves.
For instance, an extrovert married to an introvert might have to adjust his social expectations to accommodate the needs of his wife. And while it’s reasonable for her to do the same, the point here is not for him to make these demands on her. Rather, he must simply be aware of what it costs to love his wife well, as this allows him to then do his part to make reasonable social accommodations for himself. For example, he might need to dedicate more time with his friends and church community to fill his social tank.
While he doesn’t demand his wife to be a socialite, and he willingly sacrifices many social outings to meet her needs, this doesn’t mean he has to give up his desire for social connection altogether. Inasmuch as he accommodates her, he must also be willing to make responsible accommodations for himself and the way God has crafted him. Resentment and bitterness are the result otherwise.
To love others as ourselves assumes we’re willing to make the same accommodations for others that we do for ourselves. And, as a two-way street, this means we must honor our own needs for accommodations so that we can do the same for others.
In the end, love calls for you to make reasonable accommodations for others. But this adjustment comes with a cost. And you must consider the accommodations you must make for yourself to continue loving others freely and without resentment.
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