Birds build nests. Lions hunt prey. And fish swim in water. Each lives according to its design. And while God has given humans much freedom, it’s still helpful to remember and accept our created design as well.
For instance, the male body is designed to generate life outside of itself, whereas the female body is designed to generate life within. And these physical truths seem to shape much of the orientation we bring to the rest of our life and relationships. Men tend to focus on their mission in the world and the impact they make externally, while women generally give more attention to their relational connections and nurturing their bonds of affection with each other.
Of course, sin is prone to distort either pursuit. But it’s not wrong to have our focus trend in one direction more than the other, as this is just by God’s design. And remembering this helps us to extend grace and understanding toward each other, especially in marriage.
For example, many men are left to feel guilty for not thinking about their marriage in the same way their wife does. He might even be accused of being a workaholic and selfish because of the amount of time he thinks about his work and how they might partner together to accomplish the calling God has given him. But his orientation toward an external mission is not something to apologize for, as it’s simply part of our design as men.
To be sure, learning to love our wife calls us to sacrificially enter her world and care for the things important to her. But it doesn’t require us to go against the grain of how God has crafted us.
She remains disappointed and we feel like a failure when her relational orientation is also the expectation and standard for us. On the other hand, we’re in a better position to love deeply when we embrace our respective designs – each reflecting God’s glory in its own right.
In the end, remember and live according to God’s designs. This is the path of peace that blesses everyone.
Photo by Richard Lee on Unsplash
