Many things we do to appease others. And often this simply makes life easier. But it also makes it more difficult to trust our strength because we’re merely conforming to their expectations rather than changing in our own right. True maturity is developing the heart to do the right thing and not merely attempt to keep everyone happy.
To be fair, as kids we simply do what our parents tell us without fully understanding why. We’re motivated more by their external expectation than our own internal maturity. And this is certainly okay given our stage of development. But the ultimate desire is for us to grow the heart needed to start making wise decisions on our own – no longer merely checking the box of our parent’s expectations. And this is true throughout our life and relationships.
For instance, however well meaning, it does not serve us or our wife in the long run to just comply with all the ways she wants us to change. While in the moment this might make her happy, it also plants seeds of distrust, as she starts to wonder if she can truly trust our strength without her micromanaging our growth. And we’ve not proven ourselves as trustworthy when we’re just striving to meet her demands because we’ve not yet committed to growing and changing in our own right.
On the other hand, when we see we’re not yet the man God has called us to be, and we commit to our path of becoming, then she has more confidence to trust our heart. This frees her and allows her to rest in the journey – no longer bearing the weight and responsibility for our growth. And it keeps bitterness from taking root in our hearts as well.
In the end, welcome any feedback from others that allows you to grow. But commit to growing and changing in your own right. This is the mark of maturity and true strength that others can confidently trust.
Photo by Caspar Rae on Unsplash
