We are not alone in our desires. Many others want a purpose-driven life and relational depth just as we do. But not everyone wants it in the same way or at the same time that we do. As such, we must not lose heart when others don’t seem to respond to our requests as we might expect them to. We can graciously accept what they have to offer today, while courageously still searching for the more we desire ourselves.
To be sure, it’s great when our desires align with each other – when what we want is perfectly mirrored by another. But often this is not the case and it’s easy to grow discouraged. We’re then tempted to either give up the desire or demand that others meet it on our terms.
For instance, in our desire to forge meaningful friendships with other men, we might quickly grow frustrated with the superficiality many guys settle for in their relationships with each other. On the one hand, we might conclude we’re simply the odd man out for wanting more. Or we might attempt to demand or otherwise guilt the guys around us into going deeper.
The better approach is reading the room while also staying true to the desires of our heart. While it’s true we’re all created for relationships, this doesn’t mean we can forge deep relationships with just anyone. And it might be that the guys around us today are not “our people” to go deeper. Of course, we don’t want to give up prematurely. But there comes a point to shake the dust off our feet and move on. And this moving on is continuing our search.
We’re not demanding more of others than what they can give. Nor are we giving up in despair. We keep asking, seeking, and knocking until we discover the goodness God has in mind for us personally.
In the end, don’t give up when the desires of your heart are not immediately realized. Keep seeking and trusting the outcomes to God.
