Life is often approached like a shopping spree – actively seeking and consuming the objects of our desire. And desires are repressed or otherwise dismissed that cannot be readily obtained. But maturity calls for a naked desire – a desire that remains vulnerable, free, and unattached to immediate outcomes.
Perhaps from childhood we were conditioned to our desires merely as the fuel for the things we wanted to consume. And expressed desires came with the assumption of moving toward its fulfillment. To say we wanted a toy or piece of candy meant we wanted to consume it. And we tried our best to stop wanting it when it was clear we couldn’t have it. It was easier to not want than to leave our desire unfulfilled.
And we often bring a similar approach into our adult lives. An expressed desire for a job, sex, money, or the like is communicating a concrete longing to possess these things. And again it often seems better to kill the desire when this particular expression is outside of our reach.
A better approach is practicing a naked desire. It’s naked in the sense of being unattached and free, while also being exposed and vulnerable. On the one hand, we don’t have to hide our desires and we can freely express what we want. But we don’t have to attach this to immediate or even concrete outcomes.
For instance, we might have a desire for adventure, but this doesn’t mean we need to sign up to go rock climbing this weekend. Instead we just allow our desire for adventure to be naked and unattached for the moment. And while this opens us up to the ache of not being immediately fulfilled, it also keeps us open to appreciate the infinite ways in which it can.
To be sure, the point here is not merely delayed gratification. And there’s no reason to deny ourselves the many blessings readily available to enjoy today. But it is learning to sit with our desires so that God can expand our longing to receive more of the good he has for us. And we shortchange this work when we cannot sit in the ache of our longings.
In the end, keep your desires alive and free to discover more of God’s goodness for you.
