Some people say all the right things, but their actions leave a lot to be desired. On the other hand, others might be rough around the edges and in speech, but come through for the sake of goodness in the end. We must learn to look beyond mere rhetoric to discern the true life a person lives.

Jesus tells the parable of two sons. The father asked the first to work in his vineyard and he said no, but he later regretted it and then went. The second said he would go, but he did not. Despite initially saying no, the first son is the one who actually obeyed. This parable shows in part that obedience is more important than the particular rhetoric we use.

Of course, we should be mindful of our words. And there should be clear alignment between what we say and what we do. There’s no excuse for intentionally misleading others with our words. But all too often we get caught up in each other’s rhetoric that we don’t consider how a person actually shows up, or doesn’t.

With James, what good is it to tell a person in need to “stay warm and eat well” without giving them any food or clothes? What we say is less important than meeting the need. In fact, it would be better to not say anything and meet the need, than to offer grand platitudes but do nothing.

This means, for example, at home we cannot just say we love our wife; we must actively participate in the practice of love. Likewise, we must also consider the ways our wife actually loves us and not judge her solely on her initial emotional reactions.

In the end, while rhetoric gets a lot of attention, our obedience matters more. Look beyond what’s said to the life lived. And don’t hide behind mere flattery words yourself.

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