Being lovers is an exclusive privilege, but also a privilege that has to be earned as it requires more of us. All too often we reduce being lovers to simply our physical passion with each other. And certainly it includes this. But mature love also includes our commitment to each other, as well as our bond of friendship.
To be sure, simply making a life commitment to each other doesn’t make us lovers. And there are many who are each other’s best friends, but they remain more roommates than lovers. At the same time, while passionate sexual encounters might be fun, these too will fall short of truly making love when we’re merely scratching an itch. Being lovers calls for the harmony of our commitment, friendship, and erotic expressions with each other. And we’ve missed the mark when we settled for one extreme or the other.
Initially, we might be drawn sexually to our wife. And this is okay provided we cultivate our friendship with her as well – enjoying the true essence of her being beyond merely her sexual delights.
For others, a genuine friendship might be forged first. And being such good friends, it might be tempting to go ahead and get married. But this is not enough to fully embody being lovers without some spark of sexual passion as well.
Being lovers fully integrates our sexual interest, friendship, and commitment to each other in marriage. And we have a pretty solid foundation for our marriage when all three are present. All the same, this is not just about us, as it reflects the elements that should be present in our relationship with God as well.
While most of us would profess a lifelong commitment to God, many would struggle with seeing God as a friend or enjoying passionate intimacy with him. And yet we’re called the beloved of God. And as lovers with God we must learn to cultivate all these elements as well.
In the end, being lovers cannot be reduced to just your commitment, friendship, or passionate desires. It must seek to harmonize and balance all three of these elements, as it should be in our relationship with God as well.
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