Disappointment is the natural response whenever we don’t get what we want. And there’s no value in pretending otherwise in these situations. But the mark of maturity is revealed in how we respond. And often this means learning to find peace with reality on its own terms.
Kids are prone to throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want. And this is simply their way of expressing their disappointment with the situation. But part of their journey toward maturity is learning to self-soothe and to be okay with a situation even when they don’t like it. And this is a practice we must often revisit as adults as well.
For instance, a friend might have to cancel our plans, we’re called in to work late, or our wife might decline our sexual advances. Whatever it looks like, our hopes were up for a particular outcome and we didn’t get it.
It’s a mistake to assume that as adults we should deny our feelings of frustration. Being disappointed in these moments is not the problem. Problems arise when we’re unable to find peace with the reality of the situation.
Of course, there’s a place to reason together and work to find a favorable outcome for all. But once it’s clear the situation is not changing in our favor, we must learn to accept it for what it is. We’re disappointed, but we have the maturity to keep things in their proper perspective – giving us the clarity needed to do the next right thing.
Our anger and frustration is the adult version of a temper tantrum. But, unlike with young kids, ours can cause serious relational strains when left unchecked.
In the end, it’s okay to be disappointed. But learn to find peace with reality on its own terms and not yours. Grumbling and complaining doesn’t change what is.
Photo by DISRUPTIVO on Unsplash
