We gravitate toward those things in which we have competence. But this means we also tend to withdraw from those areas in which we don’t. While there’s no expectation for us to be good at everything, we can grow in courage by returning to the playgrounds of life. It’s here our first lessons on risk are learned and where we start to build our confidence.
The beauty of the playground is that it provides plenty of low-cost risks to develop our experience and skills. We can run and jump, paint and color outside of the lines without the burden of perfection. Of course, we eventually learn the proper form of things, but initially we’re just playing – taking risks and allowing ourselves to laugh as we try new things.
It seems we lose this spirit of play as adults, and soon our courage takes the hit. Our playing is now playing it safe as we now hold ourselves back in fear of getting things wrong. We stay at the safe job, engage in only safe conversations with our wife, and perhaps even become passive in the bedroom all because we feel too uncertain to take meaningful risks otherwise.
While there is a sense in which these costs are much higher than playing in the sandbox as a kid, there’s a cost in not taking these risks as well. We become impotent, and fail to bring more life and goodness into the world – missing the mark in becoming the man God has called us to be.
Learning to play again becomes our school for courage, where our play now becomes an act of faith. We take bold risks, explore new ways to engage our relationships, and express the depths of our passionate love because we trust we’re ultimately safe in God’s loving presence. The pressure of perfection has been removed and we can laugh once again as we embark on this adventure of life with God – learning and growing everyday.
In the end, learn to play again and rebuild your courage – exercising your faith by freeing yourself to explore and discover without the burden of perfection.
Photo by Jeff Hendricks on Unsplash
