Assumptions save us much time and energy. It would be exhausting to figure everything out from scratch everyday. But our assumptions can quickly become faulty when we run ahead of reality. We’re chasing a horse that’s not even a horse. Particularly in relationships and other important matters we must slow down to stay grounded in the truth before simply rushing ahead.
Of course, it would be hard to function without making any assumptions. We reasonably assume our vehicle will start in the morning, our favorite coffee shop will be open during regular business hours, and that the rules of the road will be followed by at least most drivers. Likewise, it’s generally safe to assume our loved ones will be there in our time of need, most people are not out to get us, and that our family and friends can be trusted. In fact, it’s a basic trust in others that allows us the freedom to make assumptions. And our relationships will soon crumble without the ability to make these basic presumptions.
At the same time, we can strain our relationships and invite much unnecessary suffering when we’re too quick to make assumptions. For instance, we assume we know what our wife means even when she says otherwise, why our friend was late without asking them, or that public opinions are truthful without first considering the source. We’re assuming a reality without grounding it in truth first. While we might be accurate, the room for misunderstanding is great. And these are misunderstandings that can easily be avoided.
Perhaps we need to humble our pride and ask the other what they mean before we just assume, especially if our assumption is negative and stirs conflict. It might also be that we need to do our due diligence to discover what is true rather than believing every passing opinion that blows on the wind.
In the end, assumptions are okay after being grounded in reality. Start with truth and build your working trust from here.
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