There’s much wisdom in surrounding ourselves with many counselors – those who can speak words of life, offer direction, and correct us when we go astray. But even godly counsel and obedience doesn’t relieve us of the duties God has given us. Our advisers, leaders, and the like can remind us of what’s true and support us along the way, but some burdens remain ours alone.
This seems especially true when it comes to our marriage and family. Of course, we seek all the wisdom we can as we endeavor to lead our household. And we should readily submit ourselves to the loving correction of our fellow saints when we miss the mark. This is our duty to each other in general, and the role of spiritual leaders in particular. All the same, we cannot use this as an excuse to defer the responsibility of our home to them.
To be sure, it’s not for the church or its leaders to govern our household (and even less for government or other professional organizations). God has charged us as husbands to love our wife as Christ has loved the church, and as fathers to train and instruct our children in the Lord. And these are not duties we can rightly abdicate to others, regardless of the well-meaning counsel or instruction we might otherwise receive.
This means we cannot look to the church to love and care for our wife while we sit on the sidelines. Nor do we have to accept any teaching that would hinder us in this duty we have toward her. In the same way, while the church can and should support us in raising our children, this is not a responsibility we can pass off to them. And we should quickly reject any hint of suggestion that seeks to minimize the authority God has given us over our home.
In the end, humbly seek the counsel and guidance from all those who care for your soul. And remember your office as a husband and a father are not transferable. Don’t defer to others the responsibility God has given you.
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