All too often we’re simply talking past each other. We’ve closed our minds and hearts to even consider a different point of view. And this usually exposes our own insecurities and lack of maturity. Love calls for us to seek to understand each other, and this requires us to first be confident in ourselves.
To be sure, there’s no expectation for us to agree with everyone. There are countless positions we might reject because they’re not aligned with our core values and beliefs. But not agreeing is not an excuse for failing to understand. In fact, we can only truly disagree when we’ve first understood. We’re just communicating our discomfort with a position otherwise, which seems to be the case more often than not.
And this discomfort tends to reveal more about us than the other. Like the bully beats up on others out of his own insecurities, we too are often critical of other points of view due to our own doubts and fears. We struggle to tolerate differing opinions because it feels too threatening to our status quo. And so we make fun of it and try to shut it down before taking the time to thoughtfully consider it.
On the other hand, when we’re confident in who we are and what we believe then we have no problem engaging in conversations with those we might disagree with. Jesus was willing to eat with tax collectors and sinners, while Paul was also willing to become like others without losing his bearings in Christ. Both could enter the world of others and understand different perspectives because they were confident in who they were. The same is true for us.
While clearly understanding doesn’t mean we have to agree, it is giving each other the dignity of consideration. And we must humble our pride and not be easily offended to do so.
In the end, it’s okay to disagree with others. But this requires you to understand them first. Take the time to truly consider each other’s point of view before dismissing it.
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