Vaginismus is a condition where the muscle of the vaginal wall involuntarily tightens, making penetration painful or impossible. This is not a willful resistance, but an automatic reaction due to fear, trauma, or unresolved tension. And there are spiritual parallels here that can help men learn to open themselves up to receive more of God’s love, grace, and presence.
As men, we naturally orientate ourselves toward giving, doing, and initiating, which can then make it difficult to know how to open ourselves up to receive from others, including God. And it might be our own fear, shame, or past wounds that make us more resistant to opening up.
For instance, we might feel unworthy to receive – that somehow God’s goodness and grace is for others, but not for us. Or perhaps we fear the unknown and loss of control. Unlike Abraham, we hold back and stay in our comfort zone because we fear what might happen if we fully let God into our lives. Or maybe our resistance is the result of church hurt or budding doubts in the face of unanswered prayers.
Whatever it looks like, it’s rare for this resistance to become a full rejection of God. Rather, it often presents as complacency – content with a faith that doesn’t penetrate beyond our basic habits and head knowledge. We unconsciously keep God at arm’s length and don’t allow him to enter the deep aspects of our heart and soul. And we miss out on his full and rich life when we do.
Because much of our resistance is automatic we might not even recognize it as an issue. But our own wall of self-protection might be the barrier keeping us from deeper intimacy with God. As we become aware of this, we then pray for the grace to trust him more, as we also practice being still and learn to receive more of his loving presence.
In the end, a deeper intimacy with God is available, but this requires us to open and fully receive the depths of his love.
