What our Penis Teaches Us about Manhood

Make distinctions yet stay complex

It seems this only human nature to like things in nice, neat either or categories. Things are either black or white either this or that. And there’s a lot of truth here and value in making distinctions…where a dog is not a cat, a tree is not a bird, and a man is not a woman. And it brings much clarity to life to be able to make distinctions between this is this, and that is that.

And yet life is often much more complex than these simplistic either /or categories can demonstrate…where at times two distinct things are united into one. We ourselves are the product of the union between our father and our mother, while they’re two distinct individuals somehow mysteriously in us, they have become one.

Steel and velvet

And I think a similar unity can be seen when it comes to our masculine psyche or soul. Where here we have ideally the union of steel and velvet, where steel shows our strength, our fortitude, our resilience, and where velvet represents our ability to still be gentle and kind and compassionate toward others. And I think many of the caricatures of manhood happen when we take these qualities of one extreme or the other, either all steel or all velvet.

Toxic masculinity – Only steel

The man of steel might be rightly considered an example of what many would call toxic masculinity, where man of just steel is just about just concerned with pushing his own agenda without care or concern for how his agenda might impact the lives of others. And even sexually, sex is not an expression of love or even pleasure. He has sex not because it feels good or even to love the other. He has sex to prove his manhood. And so it’s just cold, rigid agenda.

Neutered masculinity – Only velvet

On the other hand is extreme of men who would just be velvet and what I would call the neutered man. This man is like the puppy dog who is soft and nice to cuddle up with, but doesn’t have the strength to come through for you in a time of need. And when men are betrayed in movies or shows as being helpless, dumb, the butt of every joke, I think we’re at this extreme side of velvety qualities as well. Or whatever it is, he’s safe to be around, but there’s no backbone, there’s no strength, there’s no, no vigor to make a difference.

Theology of the penis

Ideally, we’re not one or the other. We’re both, I believe, our body tells a story…where God has crafted us with a penis. And when erect, it becomes strong and rigid, kind of like steel. And yet God and his wisdom also wrapped our penis in velvety skin, where not just steel, it is also velvet. No woman wants just a steel, cold metal rod, rubbing inside of her. And yet without sufficient rigidity, penetration cannot take place.

Our manhood must be both steel and velvet. And this is true throughout our life and relationships. We must have adequate strength and rigidity of character to be able to enter into, to penetrate the world around us, planting our seeds of goodness and beauty.

At the same time, if our strength is not wrapped with the, the tenderness of our heart, the kindness, the compassion of velvet, then we end up bringing more harm than good, more death instead of life.

I love how God uses our body to display His glory and even point to what it means for us to be men, to reveal a true manhood, a true masculinity that’s not based on the caricatures or stereotypes of society, but a truth that is patterned in our very bodies.

I love contemplating on these things and I hope that you find value in it as well.

But let me know your thoughts. What do you think about these topics? Until next time. Take care.