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Goodness of the male gaze?

We’re often told to be careful what we look at, to bounce our eyes and to not take that second look, and this can leave us with the impression that somehow our looking is inherently wrong. But what if this was not the case? What if our gazing was actually profoundly good? Let’s dive in.

Gazing and meaning

The male gaze is often discussed in the context of objectifying and demeaning women. And these are important conversations and considerations to make, but often we throw the baby out with the bathwater and we miss the deeper significance and power of the gaze. But in order to understand the power of the male gaze in particular we must step back and consider the importance of simply looking and seeing. As we discuss in the video on nuts cuts and pics…that being seen somehow validates us, and our personhood on a deep soul level. But, in order to be seen, someone also has to do the seeing.

It’s like the saying, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around, does it still make a sound? In many ways, it becomes irrelevant because it’s only through hearing and perceiving the sound that it has meaning. And the same is true with seeing. Being able to gaze on others and the world around us is part of what gives what is seen meaning.

God sees and blesses

Seeing and being seen are flip sides of the same coin and we need both. And this has been true since creation. When God made the heavens and the earth, and us in His very image, He looked over all He had made and said, “It is very good.” He didn’t just make creation, He gazed upon it, and in gazing on it, He then blessed it as good.

Artists see and affirm

This is what every good artist does as well, to take a moment, step back, and look over the work of our hands. This is part of how we affirm, give value to, and hold what we see in our very hearts. Even my little girl loves to show me her artwork from school, her scribbles, and how she loves coloring things blue…currently, her favorite color.

A mother’s gaze validates

And this plays out interpersonally as well. Studies have been done showing the importance of the mother’s gaze for developing infant. It’s through the loving gaze of his mom that a baby starts to get a reflected sense of himself. He gets to see himself through his mother’s eyes and this helps to validate and bless his very existence…and he’s more likely to struggle later in life when he doesn’t get this this profound sense of being seen early on.

Power and potential of the male gaze

And the male gaze seems to hold a similar power. Certainly, it’s tempting just to the gaze passively or just mindlessly scrolling online, watching sports or binging out our latest shows. Where here, the gaze is more about our own entertainment and consumption. But this passive use of our gaze, doesn’t negate its inherit power and potential.

To gaze upon the beauty of creation or another is to stand in agreement with God and declaring the goodness of what He has made. And there’s a sense in which we have a duty to gaze because only through gazing that we can truly see and affirm the goodness in life God’s call us to bring into the world.

Gazing helps to focus our attention, inspiring us to protect, to cultivate, to celebrate the beauty we see. Our gaze can also serve as a type of recognition and blessing. To genuinely see others is to acknowledge their inherent worth and dignity as image bearers of God.

Pain of not being overlooked

There are few experiences as painful and as lonely as being overlooked, ignored or left unseen. Our loving gaze brings light into this darkness and opens the door to foster our basic need for human connection. Relationships start simply by seeing and moving toward each other.

And so while sin often distorts many good things including how we see each other, we must not throw the baby out with the bathwater. We have the responsibility to offer loving gaze to affirm each other’s goodness and to spark genuine connections as fellow image bearers of God.

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Next time I’ll share more about why I spend so much time thinking about the body and why I believe this is important for you to do as well.

Until then, take care.