God has given us the dignity of causation – the freedom and ability to make things happen and paint the canvas of our life. While this freedom is not absolute, it grieves our spirit when it seems we can no longer make meaningful choices in our story. This desire for agency is part of how we reflect God’s image in the world.
To be sure, part of maturity is realizing we cannot do everything. Despite our deepest desires and best efforts there are many things that remain outside of our control. But it would be a mistake to then assume we have no agency at all. We allow ourselves to become castrated when we give up our freedom to make things happen. It’s through our power to make a difference that we bring more life and goodness into the world.
For instance, we can choose our jobs and how to raise our kids, the values we hold onto, and, to varying degrees, the community we build around us. And this freedom allows us to be faithful stewards with what God has entrusted to us.
On the other hand, we slowly start to die inside when it feels our life is being controlled by the whims and bureaucracy of others. Even when it’s a pleasant life, we’re still in the Matrix while part of us still longs for true freedom. And things might be harder and a lot messier with such freedom, but there’s a sweetness in the suffering because we chose it.
Freedom gives meaning and dignity to our triumphs and losses. And our spirits are crushed when the important matters of our life are determined or otherwise controlled by others.
In the end, your desire for agency is good. It’s not selfish or prideful to fully embrace the freedom God has given you to make an impact for good.
Photo by Braden Collum on Unsplash
